(originally posted November 20, 2009)
A week ago my son and I were sitting together in our living room. Across from us hangs a large framed picture from my wedding. I'm not really sure why we were looking at the picture but my son got very serious and said, "Mommy, someday I'm going to marry Cali...because I love her."
I realize that he cannot marry his sister but it still warmed my heart. He understands (or seems to understand) that my husband and I love one another so much so that we chose to get married. Regardless of what he knows or doesn't know about marriage, I had to squeeze him tight that night. The simple fact that he expresses his love for his sister so freely is a wonderful gift.
Last night, we had a similar conversation, although this time he said he'd marry me someday and daddy could marry Cali. So now I'm guessing that he is associating marriage with love and maybe that's all it is. But again, it doesn't matter as long as he's loving more than he's hating. It seems the older we get, the more jaded we are and the more walls we build. It seems so much easier to pre-judge and choose to dislike someone than open up and let ourselves be a little vulnerable. I'm not sure if it's the heartache we experience along the way or our own self doubt. Either way, it's sad and I hope that through my children I can become more open to letting more people in.